NOTES:

1.       Image shack is going crazy. Thus, my head topic’s picture is gone – sadly, the backup file is in the damaged hard disk!! I’ve tried experimenting with other things (other pictures, slides, or videos). But they just won’t fit like the previous picture – the bald man hiding a gun and the gun with passport and alcohol on the table.

2.       The surface structure of the content in this entry is very general and can be understood by most readers. However, the deeper meaning of it is designed (to be shared with and to be dedicated) to certain people only (my ‘brethrens’ to be exact).

3.       This entry will give the best effect if you use your imagination as if the entry was red with the voice and style of Raziel.

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QUESTION:

When you see somebody more pathetic than you are, what is your reaction? Do you:

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1. Feel very bad for the fellow, and seek to help him on his thorny path?

2. Realize that business is business but do your best to help the loser out with a couple of bucks if you have the opportunity?

3. See the guy’s strong points and attempt to create a friend and ally in this gibbering homunculus?

4. Ascertain whether the guy or a friend or and enemy?

(Adapted and modified from Stanley Bing, from the book Sun Tzu Was A Sissy)

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“Given the choice.. Whether to rule a corrupted failing empire.. Or to challenge the fate of another throw, a better throw against one’s destiny.. What was a king to do..?”

(Intro from The Legacy Of Kain: Defiance)

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Have you ever experienced the dilemma in a conflict, whereby you are confused on choosing which side to be with? Have you ever wondered in which group you belong to? Can you even begin to conceive what action you would take in that position?

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Or do you hang dependant only on luck? Flip a coin, and only wait for the final result – and choose the side that faces upward? Or rather, would you bid your own time to gamble and wait for the coin to land on its edge?

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As I write towards my legacy, my destiny, my blog. I encountered one particular clan, which is known as ‘The Assholes Laymen’. This clan seems to be ‘uncomfortable’ with my presence in this world of writing. Or rather, uncomfortable with my style of approach. Perhaps I should try to investigate as to why this clan behaves like this towards me.

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As I dive further into the clan’s history and legends, I realized that what I have done is considered a fatal paradox to them. It is not about my presence in their world that bothers them. It’s about my use of language – the use of “words” to be exact. But still, I couldn’t see why my use of words made them so hostile towards me.

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Until, I received a message from an unknown being who explained to me about it. But the main questions remain – should I trust this unknown being? Are these tips are some kind of aid, or perhaps a trap? What should I consider of this being? An ally? Or an enemy? Should I join forces with this unknown being? Or perhaps join forces with The Laymen?

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After reading the unknown being’s message, only then that I knew what is the main cause of all these unwanted vicious catastrophe and perceptions. Now I knew the root of the problem, the paradox that they always hated, and made them release that hatred towards me. All caused by the usage of one word – the F word, FUCK.

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Hence, the outcome of that situation, some questions arisen; Am I considered guilty? Am I labeled as the root of all evil? Am I marked as the inhumane, satanic and sarcastic demon who unleashed ‘the fingers of evil and death’ that could only type nasty words? Is that nasty word (which The Laymen’s may consider it in “Laymen terms” as nasty and not magical) really is nasty and made other people see only viciousness and evilness of one’s self? Or perhaps, the most important question is, why it becomes like that? Thus, I have no choice but to begin my journey to unearth the truths.

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To begin with, I started by recalling any knowledge that can be used as a clue to this mysterious phenomena. As I journeyed across those memories and previous experience, I found one particular memory – a vision that I once had watched before. The one that already prophesied in Entry 29. However, using that only is not enough. I have to find additional proofs of it.

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Thus, I teleported myself into another realm – the realm of Forgotten Memories –which the elders may call it with simple term: “You Tube”. As I searched my truths in those images scattered in the whole realm, at last, I have found what I seek – a portion of the truth:

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The vision for the “usage” of the enchanted magic word. As I relate it with the issue of the clan that I mentioned before, it triggered a question in my mind; What are they thinking as I chant that word in my own empire (blog) that makes them so.. “Uncomfortable” with? If what the forgotten memory had visualized me with was true, they should realize that they only look at the usage of the magic (or in ‘their’ term – “nasty”) word in the narrowest view of all beings in this whole world – only the view of sex..!! How could we explain about the noblest clan that has the mind as the most low life pests?

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How can it be so? If that is the truth, it may yet trigger other questions; Are the clan really assholes, or just perverts? Are they really considered themselves self-proclaimed ‘pious’ or just the reality of ‘pagans’ whom actually unaware of the real knowledge of it? Do they really try to find the truth (challenge the fate of another throw, a better throw against one’s destiny) or just prefer to have less knowledge about the truth (to rule a corrupted failing empire)? Or in Laymen’s term; “Do they really know about the usage of the FUCK word, or just plain stupid to know only one meaning of it - sex?”

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As I try to teleport out from The Realm of Forgotten Memories, I stumbled upon one more vision, which became useful in my search for the truth:

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However, my quest is not yet fully completed. It is about when history and destiny collide. Whereby history supposed to abhor paradox. But it seems that only humans (especially The Laymen) are the one preferring the paradox and manipulate, maneuver, and control it for themselves as a tool that only satisfies their needs. Thus, who made the enchanted magic word to become negative and nasty? And who are the insignificant and ignorant fools who followed them? The answer is very simple – you just have to look into a mirror.

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As I walked out from The Realm Of Forgotten Memories to the Physical realm, I realized now how corrupted the minds of humans have gone through. And it stabs me directly right into the heart. Only then I realized that the truth hurts. And only then, I realized what Kain had said in Entry 70 was true:

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“There is much more for you to unearth, if you have the heart for the truth, and the will to see it..!!”

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I somehow felt pity and sympathy to that particular clan. Even if I told them the truth, most of them will still rejects them. And thus, leads to one unwanted possible outcome – useless debates. How ironic.. Human being prefers paradox, but abhors the true paradox that will replace the false paradox. Can it be changed back to what it was supposed to be?

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As I arrived in my castle, I lay myself and try to clear my mind from all those nonsense and try to ignore whatever the clan’s complaints about the issue. And thus, a conversation with my own consciousness occurred:

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Consciousness              : Mankind seems to have brought you only torment and grief. You must hate them.

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Adi                               : They fear what they don’t understand. And they despise what they fear. But, no. I do not hate them.

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Consciousness              : Vengeance does.

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Adi                               : He has suffered much. He cannot forgive them.

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Consciousness              : Should they be forgiven..?

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Adi                               : They.. Do not understand what they are doing. They are simply unenlightened and vulnerable to manipulation.

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As the conversation faded away, my eyes became heavier and heavier. The tiredness of finding the truth, the pain and agony of accepting it and the torture of bearing it, made me conclude all of those in just one simple word:

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Yeah, WHATEVER!!

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But that wouldn’t be enough..!! What am I supposed to do? Which side should I choose? I realized, the situation right now is as if the coin that I flipped earlier lands on its edge and still spinning. Should I stick to the truth and damned forever to face retaliation and yet retaliations for all eternity from The Laymen? Or should I just ignore the truth and obey The Laymen and become one of those insignificant and ignorant fools, damned forever in the torture of denying the truth?

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Or should I just follow the solutions and suggestions from the unknown being, which I do not even know whether to trust it or not? The unknown being has suggested two options in making The Laymen give good impression towards my legacy:

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1. Remove the link of my empire from the important document that has been passed around from people to people (the resume).

2. To reshuffle my empire to be more.. “Decent”..

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As I waited for the coin to fall on one of its side, the gradient of the spinning speed decreases. As the speed decreases, the time has come for the true result. Amazingly, the result is somehow the rarest of all – the coin stops spinning but still stays on its edge..!! Only then I knew what action to be taken. Only then I knew what my true intended destiny is!!

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I, Adi, redeemer and destroyer, the savior of my own empire, had made a choice of not choosing any sides at all as symbolized by the coin. As The Scion Of Balance in this legacy, my true destiny, the side that I should choose is the coin’s edge, the one that uphold the coin itself..!! And thus, I shall proceed with the truth, but somehow conceal it with the strike of death, so that the truth shall remain “hidden” from the eyes of those whoever opposed it..!!

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Simple example:

Fuck Kill the fucking annoying fuckers enemies..!!

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As I became weaker to sustain myself in the Physical realm and slowly faded away towards the Dream realm, I realized that what has been written in the prophecy was actually true – the real power, strength and honor of those who can sustain one’s self upon the edge of the thin fence. Now I knew, the truth of my intended destinies are not to be DISCOVERED, but to be CREATED.

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“But does one ever truly have a choice..? One can only match, move by move, the machinations of fate.. And thus defy the tyrannous stars..”

(Intro from The Legacy Of Kain: Defiance)

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ANSWERS:

If you choose:

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A = You’re a nerd.

B = You’re in Human Resources.

C = Your subscription to the Harvard Business Review is in the mail.

D = Bingo! If he’s in the green zone, you shore him up, but that’s not as interesting as if he’s a weenie, in which case you thank the Lord for sending you a dork for an enemy.

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NOTE:

Don’t ever ask me why the fuck I write this entry even though it supposed to be posted next week. In these several peaceful and quiet days without any resistance and hindrance comments from other people, it made my mind very clear on what to write and have more time to focus on the content (since I don’t have to think hard about answering all those oppositions, contradictions and arguments). It’s just that, I JUST FELT LIKE WRITING, BABY..!! Ouh yeah!! Bring it on!!

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Oh, man.. I still love watching those Legacy of Kain cut scenes (Entry 67) in my free time. As if I am addicted with its classic style of language and ‘macho’ intonation – which shows wisdom, calmness and ‘always prepared’ attitude. I’m also fascinated by the body language of the characters (even if they are just 3D characters compared to a real live people in dramas). I think, after this, you can imagine all of my entries written in this blog are being spoken as if Kain is talking to you with his voice, intonation and body language (instead of me). That would really be cool.. Aaaaww~!!

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But still, I don’t know how many of you can go through those cut scenes and see as I see beneath them. I also don’t know either you just watch them like normal cut scenes, or are there something else that would “trigger” your mind after watching them (instead of the language and grammar). If you are the first type, looks like we are not really in a parallel mind and really need to work it out. But if you see what I see and if you feel as I feel, then welcome to our parallel world, ladies and gentlemen.

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As for today (or rather, for this week and next week), I would like to concentrate on one of the cut scenes. The cut scene is this one:

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What do you feel after watching that cut scene? Nothing..? Ok, that question may be too advance for you. Before I ask you ‘what you FEEL’, I must first ask you ‘what do you SEE’ in that cut scene? A normal portion of cut scene from a video game? A normal ‘drama’ just like any other dramas? Just some two assholes arguing around and then separated?

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Or is it just a conflict between characters of good and evil? (Now we are getting closer). Or do you see it as I see it as a conflict of INNER SELF in making decisions instead of two characters in the real world? For those who has sharp mind, I think you already know what I am talking about. But for those who still don’t understand, maybe I should elaborate it more in the most understanding concept – stories and analogies. To make it simple, just replace the words in that cut scene with these words:

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• Kain = Akal (The Balance Guardian, the MIND)

• Raziel = Hati (The Reaver of Soul, the HEART)

• Nosgoth = Diri (A great empire, the SELF)

• Mobeus = Nafsu (Self-centered asshole, the LUST)

• William = Love (The passionate LOVE)

• History = Life (one with its own stream and flow, the LIFE)

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Watch that video again and set your mind to replace all those words into it.

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So, can you see what I see? I think you understand it well.

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What..?? Still cannot understand it? Maybe this type of people cannot understand by just watching. Maybe I should write the whole script for this type of people. To make it even better, I relate it to a story also. So, it started like this:

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In the Chinese New Year holiday several days ago, I went to One Utama to watch a movie (Babel). The show starts at 11.00 a.m., but I arrived at 11.20. Since buying the ticket also takes time, I just ignore that 11.00 a.m. show and bought for the 3.00 p.m. show. Thus, I have about three and a half hours just to do one thing: WAITING!!

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I planned to go back home but I’m too lazy to ride my moto kapcai (even though the spirit of Ghost Rider is still within me.. Oh, I forgot, Ghost Rider only appears at night!!). So, one of the option was to “kill” time is by concentrating on other things – playing arcade games, reading comics or whatever la. However, the comic (Wira Tunggal Infinity) that I really want to read is not yet published at that day. Added with my very hungry stomach which didn’t have dinner from the previous night, the situation became worse.

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Ok laaa.. Find comics later laa.. First, I must eat. Since I am too hungry, my lust has already fainted due to starvation – even sexy amoi in front of me I just ignore (but if Jordan Capri is in front of me, maybe my lust wll be awakened la).  Thus, my pervert mode was switched off. Since I like Vanilla Coke (and Pepsi Tarik) soooo much, I planned to eat at McD (since KFC served Pepsi, but no Pepsi Tarik).

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Thus, ladies and gentlemen, the adventure begins.. The young and handsome adventurer walked high and low just to find the secret treasure in the secret recipe of McD Tavern. But since the dungeon was sooo enormous, our young and handsome adventurer got lost!! Oh my goat!! Where the fuck is McD?? I didn’t even see KFC!! Argh!!

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His spirit became weaker and weaker due to hunger. His body became tired. And his mind is filled with curses and maki-hamun kaw-kaw punya to the designer of the dungeon. Until.. As he reached at one level of the dungeon using a magic moving staircase, he saw a magic store named MPH. Thus, our young adventurer said:

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“What the fuck man..? I want to buy food to eat!! Not buy some spell books to enhance my magic!!”

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Since he was so tired, he just followed his heart (actually, just followed his tired legs) into the magic shop. Since our adventurer was half melee and half mage type of character, he was so fascinated by the books sold there. As he came to a section of black magic called “Strategic Management”, he saw a book that was glowing into his eyes as if that book of spells were destined to be owned by him.. The book of “Sun Tzu Was A Sissy”. As his heart (Hati) was in a dilemma, his consciousness of the mind (Akal) started to crawl in..

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Hati      : Show yourself, Kain Akal..!!

Akal     : Here, Raziel Hati.. Everything is decided here..

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Our hero were stucked between two choices.. To be buy, or not to be buy..? That is the question.. The invisible magnet-like force pulling him towards the book was very strong.. Very irresistible.. Oh my goat!! What should I do?? Then his Akal starts to spoke:

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Akal     : You cannot comprehend the magnitude, the rupture, the tragedy of this moment. If you must, if Nosgoth Diri is to be dragged from its wreckage of this damnation..

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Hati      : I understand only this, Kain Akal.. That you and Mobeus Nafsu have impelled me to this moment simply means I can trust neither of you.. I don’t know who’s pulling the strings.. But it no longer matters.. Because I’m cutting them..!! I set my own course from here..

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Akal     : If it were only that simple.. You must understand, our presence here doesn’t alter history life. You and I meet here because we are compelled to.. We have always met here.. History Life is irredeemable..

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The urge from the magnitude of the book’s force, added with the weakness of the will and body due to fatigue and hunger made it worse. Our hero was fighting with his own self in resisting the pulling force..!!

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The urge was too strong!! Our hero has to buy it!! The book cannot be allowed to be in the wrong hands (especially to those evil mother fuckers)!! As our hero opened his inventory menu to see his Gold Points (GP), his gold was not enough for the trade..!! The book costs 5590GP, while he only got 16GP. Oh my goat!! I must hurry!! Thus, our hero rushed out from the merchant store to find any Kapra Storage (“ATM” for the exact short term) available in that dungeon. Our hero knew, he has very limited items and GPs in that ATM for him to use (for the whole month). His heart told him to refuse the pulling force due to the monthly economic budget. But his mind spoke of wisdom and the importance of knowledge. Thus, as he went nearer and nearer to the ATM, a conflict occurred in his own Nosgoth self:

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Akal     : Drop a stone into a rushing river. The current simply courses around it and flows on as if the obstruction was never there. You and I are pebbles Raziel Hati, and have even lesser of disrupting the time life stream. The continuum of history life is simply too strong, too resilient.

Except.. How do we explain William Love here?

The beloved boy king jiwang kapak, who turned tyrant ruthless.. In my youth, I witnessed William’s Love’s rise to power, and his transformation into the nemesis ruthless mother fucker, who laid waste into Nosgoth Diri..

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Hati      : Keep your distance, Kain Akal..!!

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Akal     : Years later, I stumble upon a chance to journey back in history life’s experience.. Unaware, that the entire affairs been carefully orchestrated by Mobeus Nafsu.

In my wisdom, I seized this opportunity to murder the young king memories of love before he can ravage Nosgoth Diri. And thereby, provide the catalyst Mobeus Nafsu needs, to ignite a genocidal war against our race (rational thinking)..

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The ATM is getting nearer and nearer.. The conflict within our hero’s self became more resilient!!

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Hati      : I warn you.. No further..!!

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Akal     : This, one reckless act, unravels the scam of history life.. The nemesis ruthless mother fucker never becomes the nemesis ruthless mother fucker.. William Love dies a martyred saint.. I, the vampire rational assassin became the author of my own species extinction, and Mobeus Nafsu profits from it all.. I destroyed a tyrant ruthless mother fucker, only to create one far worse.

   

But how can it be so? How, if history life is immutable? The answer, is here in this room ATM, Raziel Hati.. Mobeus Nafsu propelled William Love and me together. But ensured first, we were both armed with the Soul Reaver emotion..

   

The reaver emotion is the key.. Two incarnations of the blade emotion (positive and negative), meet in time and space, a paradox is created, attempt from a distortion powerful enough to derail history life.

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While our hero getting nearer to the ATM, he saw something else.. Something which was more.. “Wicked”.. Something that has the greater pulling force towards it..!! Oh my God, it’s the evil Japanese Buffet Tavern and it’s wicked monster minions (waiters)!! Thus, our hero was pulled towards it. And with all his might, with just a flick of energy left in his soul, he tried to resist it!! Thus, another conflict occurred in his own self:

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Hati      : Is this your sorcery..??

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Akal     : Not mine, Raziel Hati.. Yours.. You have nothing to fear from me, Raziel Hati.. You hold all the cards (ATM cards, decisions & emotion)..

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Hati      : And perhaps I should test your sincerity..? If what you say is true.. You should be terrified.. I could kill (or ignore) you here and now..!!

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Akal     : And so you do, Raziel Hati..

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After withdrawn the GP and wielding his wallet, our hero was stunned by the great pulling force from the evil Japanese Buffet Tavern..!! The force was even greater than the situation before he wielded his wallet!! Oh my fucking goat, is this the end of the story of our hero, seduced by the fuckin’ force of evil??

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Hati      : What’s happening..?

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Akal     : Work in towards our destinies Raziel Hati.. What you feel, is the pull of history life rushing to meet us.. This is where history life and destiny collide..

If you truly believe in free will Raziel Hati, now is the time to prove it..!! Kill (or ignore) me now, and we both become pawns of history life.. Dragged, down the path of artificial history life.. I was ordained to assume the role Balance Guardian of Nosgoth Diri, while you are destined to be its savior.. But the map of my fate was redrawn by Mobeus Nafsu. And so it turns yours..

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Many images appeared in front of our hero as he was pulled bit by bit towards the evil tavern. All are the ‘seductions’ of evil..!! If he were to join the force of evil in the tavern, he might satisfied his hunger and fatigue with all those yummy sushis with just one time pay, but unlimited amounts of food. Thus, our hero should be no longer starved to death and longing for any Japanese food afterwards. As he were pulled nearer and nearer, he saw the price that he should pay if he wanted to join the empire of evil.. Only 6000GP!! Just have to add 410GP for that instead of the spellbook (5590GP)?? Very cheap??

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Hati      : This is madness..!!

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Akal     : Fight it Raziel Hati..!! This moment, does not have to be an ending.. It can become a prelude..

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Hati      : I.. Can’t..!!

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Akal     : You can, Raziel Hati..!! Look inside, and see that it is so..!! You have the power to reshape our inevitable futures..!!

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As our hero came closer and closer to the gate of evil, with all his might left, with all his shred of will left, with all the thought of humanity and sanity left, with power, strength and honor, he banished the evil – sheathed his wallet into his pocket and made the divine step resisting the evil. Klong!! With just one step refusing to join the force of evil, the evil empire was defeated, losing the greatest potential warrior (to be recruited). If only they had already succeeded in recruiting our great and handsome hero, they surely will be a fearsome and unbeatable force of evil. Very scary indeed..

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At that time, our hero’s “love” and passion for Japanese foods are destroyed – with heavily disappointed and frustrated feelings of not achieving the enlightened tastes of sushis, as if it was his first love crushed and burnt to ashes.. Very sad and cruel.. But that was the price he had to pay in upholding justice – the sacrifice of love..

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Akal     : Poor William Love..

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With fuckin’ heavy steps, tired body and weak mind and spirit, our hero continued his journey back to the magic shop to reclaim his intended destiny – to uphold the sacred magic book. As his mind was so fuckin’ weak, our hero then realized, he was sent to another “realm” of the magic shop (the upper floor of the shop to be exact). As he wondered where the fuck was he, he browsed into many books that he had never seen in the human world before.. Until he saw one spell book that he had been longing for in his own life – the vicious Black Magic spell book of Asbabul Nuzul..!! (Perh..!! Nama macam stok kitab evil gila siall!! Hahahahah!!) As he touched the book to hold it, the realm started to shake (actually, his stomach was the one growling)..

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Hati      : What is this..?

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Akal     : History Life befalls paradox Raziel Hati.. Even now, the time life stream strains to divert itself finding its own course, blocked by your refusal to destroy (or ignore) me. The future is reshuffling itself to accommodate your ‘monumental’ decision. This is where we restore ourselves Raziel Hati, and reclaim our intended destinies. It may yet be possible for me to assume my role as Balance Guardian and return the pillars hunger and thirst to their rightful inheritors..

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Hati      : To the vampires McD..!! And this is the destiny you have urged me to discover?? I don’t know what game you and Mobeus Nafsu are playing Kain Akal.. But I refuse to be your pawn..!! Unlike you, I still revail whatever shreds of humanity have managed to preserve. Do not use me as an instrument of your messianic delusions..!!

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Akal     : Very well, Raziel Hati.. I not ask you to trust me.. Your truths, are for you to discover alone..

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Hati      : Humble words for one who presumes to teach me a lesson of it..!!

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Akal     : And continue your journey and learn your own "lessons", Raziel Hati.. Remember!! Mobeus Nafsu led you here but you walked away unfettered.. The champion of free will, and conqueror of false histories life.. There is much more for you to unearth, if you have the "heart" for the truth, and the "will" to see it..!!

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As our hero wielded the vicious book, he was then teleported by a magic staircase to the place where he should gain the other book. Now, our hero is equipped with two books for him to enhance his magic spells. As he went to the merchant’s counter, he was shocked for the truth..!! The total amount that he should spend for those two books was supposedly 9390GP. But the merchant said that if the buyer is a pure hearted, kind, lawful and handsome magician (warganegara Malaysia), by showing the proof of life (ID card), he/she could get 15% discount for the Sun Tzu Was A Sissy book..

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Only then, our hero’s Hati realized that what Akal said before was true. However, that doesn’t made Hati will put all his trust on Akal 100%. He must be careful in choosing any decision. Maybe he should consult with Janos Audron (Iman) about whatever solution Akal had given him.

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As it comes to the final part of the story, our young, great, macho and handsome hero continued his journey, found the McD Tavern and enjoys his meal while reading the sacred books until he was ‘ready’ for the show at 3.00 p.m. And he lived happily ever after..

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The end..

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I think that should be enough to make you understand about that Legacy of Kain cut scene. Try to watch it again and relate it to this story.

Maybe that is what as was said:

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“In a human being, there is a very small part of flesh, whereby even if it is so small, it can move (or change) the whole world.. That flesh is THE HEART..!”

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So, do you understand it?

Or are you just plain stupid for it?

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Aaaaahhhh!!!

Whatever laaa..!!

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Dung~ Dung dung cheng~!!

Dung~ Dung dung cheng~!!

Dung~ Dung dung cheng~!!

Dung cheng~ Dung cheng!!

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Gong xi.. Gong xi..

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Oh man, I really like Chinese New Year songs (especially those in Hitz FM). They all are so energetic, happy and merrier. Unlike Hari Raya songs, always sedih-sedih one and rentak very lembik one. If the song lyrics is sedih one for the departure of Ramadhan, then OK laa.. But what the fuck for sedih songs about “cannot go balik kampung”? What the fuck man..? Maybe that’s why Malay becomes so lazy meh..? Ceh..!! Why should I give a fuck about it? Lantak kome laaa..

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This Chinese New Year holiday, I spent much time (also money) just to watch movies (not to mention to the popcorn). There are four movies I layan already in the cinema: Ghost Rider, Norbit, Protege and Babel. Ghost Rider boleh tahan la.. The graphic is marvelous one. Especially when they made that skull burning with red (or sometimes, yellow or blue) flame. Norbit also best what. Even the storyline is like mengarut one, but for the sake of laughing and forgetting all those problems (or some may say, “the memories that should be forgotten”), ok what..

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But what made me learn something is in the last two movies, Protege and Babel. Those movies don’t just give me some knowledge, they also “mentahkik” some of my knowledge that I have learnt in the past – after I recall them la. So, shall we browse those two?

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Protege

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This movie aaa, for me very good one la. Ceritanya straight to the point. The trailers are as the following:

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Trailer yang satu lagi tu tak berapa elok sangat. Dia punya sound lebih laju daripada video. But I don’t have any option ma.. Only that one has the English subtitle. What makes that movie good (my taste la) is in spite of the two amoi in there, the story’s basic “structure” is just about “why do people hisap that dadah”. And that movie elaborates it well from many point of views: The Banker (Boss), The Protege, The Trafficker, The Wife and The Victim (Junker).

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What makes it intrigues me is the last quote from the hero himself (whereby he also have the intention to “try” the drug):

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“Saya masih tak tahu kenapa manusia hisap dadah. Sehinggalah apabila Fann dan Quin mati, barulah saya faham.. Sebabnya ialah kepiluan.. Adakah kepiluan sebenarnya yang lebih menakutkan, ataupun dadah..?”

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Further elaboration, will be discuss later..

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Babel

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For me aaa, this one is the best movie from all those four (even though after I watched Ghost Rider, I felt really great like I am the Ghost Rider riding that moto kapcai with my black jacket. Hahahahah!!). This is the trailer:

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Perh.. Trailer itu sendiri dah cukup untuk menyatakan hebat tak hebat mesej yang nak disampaikannya.. Kalau tengok movie dia, lagi la.. Yes, I know, the movie doesn’t even have any great actions or stunts. Just talking, talking and talking. But as I review all the movies that have given me knowledge, most of them more on talking meh. V For Vendetta for example, also talks a lot. Shawshank Redemption also talks a lot. The Negotiator apatah lagi. Even if the movie has actions, the script must be kaw-kaw punya hebat, then baru ada something to learn.

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Ok, back to the story. Babel sebenarnya nak menceritakan mengenai situasi-situasi ”communication”. Ada beberapa situasi yang diceritakan dalam movie tu:

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1. Dua pihak yang tidak memahami bahasa antara satu sama lain (memerlukan translator) tetapi kedua-duanya mahu mendengar (in other word, ”to understand”).

2. Dua pihak yang memahami bahasa yang sama, boleh menjelaskan sesuatu perkara, tetapi masing-masing nak bercakap dan tak reti nak diam (atau mendengar).

3. Dua pihak yang memahami bahasa yang sama, tapi tak mahu memahami penjelasan melalui perbincangan – lebih kepada tindakan.

4. Satu pihak yang absolutely total silence (bisu) dan cuba untuk kasi pihak lain memahami, tetapi tak berupaya untuk menyampaikannya.

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All of that, diringkaskan, dikaitkan dengan satu jalan cerita dan dihimpunkan dalam satu movie. Memang wa tabik spring sama itu director. I really recommend you to watch this rather than Ghost Rider la.

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Now, my point of view about them. So, we first start with Protege. What intrigues me is about the term “kepiluan”, which can be interpreted in more general terms as tekanan, masalah, musibah, or dugaan. The main question is “why people takes drug”? In that movie, it’s about to run away from that entire ‘kepiluan’ thing. For what? To gain peace, enlightenment and tranquility. Especially if the problem is “sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga” one – like the victim in that movie yang mau insaf, have the chance, the inner strength and the trust, but stuck with other ‘external’ factor. What is the external factor? Find it yourself la, ma hai..!! Always want spoon feed one..!! Watch that movie la..!! Sheeesshh..!!

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Bila memikirkannya, persoalan dan jawapan hero tersebut menyebabkan aku teringat kepada bagaimanakah jawapan yang diterima apabila soalan mengenai ”bagaimana nak kasi hilang tekanan” ditanya kepada typical Muslims. Jawapan standard:

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”Pi baca Quran..”

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Atau satu lagi jawapan yang rasanya dah jadi jawapan yang dikehendaki skema:

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”Pi smayang..”

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Kedua-dua tu memang satu jawapan ”pemati” yang takde sorang Melayu pun nak bengkeng. The question is, if we met a person who really needs our help, who really needs our opinion (the most practical one) to help them gain peace, enlightenment and tranquility, would that two “schematic” answers really help them..? Itu jawapan very general one ma. Haiyaaaa..!! Silap gaya, hari ni kita kasi jawapan yang macam tu, esok mamat/ minah tu dah masuk berita atas kes bunuh diri.

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Ya, memang orang Melayu sangat yakin bahawa kedua-dua solution tadi adalah yang terbaik. Kenapa?

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”Owh, kita kena yakin betul-betul bahawa kedua-duanya memang membawa ketenangan..”

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Betul ke..?

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”Hissshh.. Mana boleh ragu-ragu.. Kalau ragu-ragu itu seolah-olah menolak rukun Islam (mendirikan solat) dan rukun iman (percaya kepada kitab-kitab)..”

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Habis tu, kenapa saya dah buat, still masih rasa tertekan..?

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”Tu maknanya you masih tak betul-betul yakin lagi.. Tak cukup 100% tu..”

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Habis tu, macam mana nak kasi yakin 100%?

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”You kena buat baik banyak-banyak laaa.. Kasi jangan buat maksiat..”

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Kalau dah buat pun still tak berkesan jugak..?

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”Mana boleh tanya soalan macam tu.. Kalau Tuhan dah kata betul, betul laa.. Percaya je laa.. Usah persoalkan lagi..!!”

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Serius saya dah cuba, tapi..

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”Dah.. Dah.. Jangan tanya soalan yang boleh menimbulkan was-was atau kesesatan lagi.. Percaya je laaa..!!”

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Huh..!! Standard answers.. I really hate that. Why? Because the answers are so standard, in the end they don’t even solve the problem. In the end, jawapannya ialah:

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“Tuhan dan Nabi dah kata gitu, percaya dan amalkan je laa..”

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Yeah, right.. If that is the “ultimate answer” for those haramjadah mother fucker lancau always right and know everything type of people, why don’t they use that answer in their PMR, SPM or university’s exams (especially those “religiously” claimed schools and IPT)? Why in exams they rather explain details and the jalan kerja? Why in those ‘everyday life’ issues they didn’t apply it? Why in the exams, we are stressed and told repeatedly to “understand the question first before answering it”, but in real life, we became like in the Babel movie?

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(Yeah, now we are going bit by bit into Babel..)

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The purpose those questions are asked is just to know on “how would be the implementation” of the answers given. If we said that just reading the Quran and do some prayers may decrease the tension and give peace, by right we should focusing on explaining WHICH PART OF THEM that can make those things happen?

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Answers like “Tuhan dan Nabi dah kata gitu, percaya dan buat je la..” is just bullshit if we cannot even convince them about it. Rather, the ending of the answers like “atas sebab itulah Tuhan dan Nabi dengan terangnya cakap begitu, Maka sebab itulah kita kena percaya dan mengamalkannya..” is more convincing. So, which one would you choose? I already chose mine..

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So, which part of baca Quran and smayang that can really give us peace and tranquility? How would we explain it? And the most important thing, how would we relate them? Like I always said, it will go back to the basic of solving jigsaw puzzles. (Damn, sometimes I muak already always repeating this jigsaw puzzle philosophy).

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To get the answer, we must go back to the root of that ‘kepiluan’ thing. As I mentioned, kepiluan is somehow related to ‘musibah’. And as most of those typical Muslims know (not including me aaa.. I don’t know about this aaa.. I only know this because they told me meh.. Hahahahah!!), apabila ditimpa musibah, apakah yang patut kita baca?

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Innaa lillaahi wa innaa’ilaihi rooji’uun

(Dari Tuhan kita datang, dan kepadaNya jugalah kita kembali)

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The problem is, it is like a culture that Malays only use that phrase when they heard someone else’s death (or when the death is right in front of them). Not when they are striked with ‘kepiluan’ (or musibah). In one point of view, yes, using it on death issue may be the suitable condition since every human is God’s creation, and when a human died, he/she will come back to God.

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The question is, if that phrase has the most suitable usage in death issue, why we are asked to use that phrase when we ditimpa musibah? Have we ever think about it? Or are we just “Raihan sulah nyanyi itu macam, ikut saja laaa..!! Toksah manyak tanya lagi maaa..!! Apa lu mau masuk itu nelaka ka??”

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Kalau diikutkan hati, I just want to end the discussion here and let you find the answer yourself laa.. Why should I spoon feed you? It’s not like you are giving me money or food. But since I already know that you are sooooooo lazy one like shit, I give you chance laa.. For this one, I give the answer. But for that bidadari one, you find it yourself la (the answer for it is just so simple meh). What..? Don’t like what I say? Then get the fuck out from here laa, ma hai..!! Hate me..!! Detest me..!! Despise me..!! And leave..!! The lesser people, the better.. Bohahahahahah!!

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So, back to the issue. The answer is very simple actually. Since all of us are created by God (or some use the term “comes from God”), our ending is to go back to God. If all of His creations are like that, that will also include the tests, ujian, or dugaan (which is related to that ‘musibah’ and ‘kepiluan’).

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Why are human being tested? To prove his/her worthy to God. Who gives the test? Of course la God. So, to whom should a human being give the “answer sheet” to be evaluated? Same answer, to God la. Then who will mark that “answer sheet”, giving marks and dictates either a human being will pass the test or fails? Of course la God.

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Will that answer the question about WHY we should return the problems, tekanan, musibah or kepiluan to God? Some people may argue:

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“How come we can do that? Can we just pass the blank answer sheet to examiner? How would we pass the test if the answer sheet is just a blank paper?”

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Hey come on man.. Even in your SAT test, if you just pass the answer sheet just with your name written on it, you will gain marks meh.. If we “inna lillaah” to God about our ‘kepiluan’ does that mean that He doesn’t know from whom it comes from? Hey man, He’s the MAHA MENGETAHUI one maaa…

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“Will that guarantee our result (pass) in the test?”

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Why not? It’s not like our so-called ‘education’ tests (by the Kementerian Pendidikan).. The more blanks in the answer sheet, the more hints HE will give you so that you can understand and answer well. Or maybe if we are lucky enough, HE will give us the answer straight to the point. Hey, He is the MAHA PEMURAH one maaa..

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“If we can just rely on that blank answer sheet, why bother struggling and give tremendous effort for it..?”

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That’s the beauty of it maa.. This “test” is not like the human one – sitting in exam room and testing our “memory capabilities” to remember all the facts. The tests given by HIM is 100% coursework, and 0% exam. That means, you have to get your ass up and give some effort if you want the answer, lazy assholes..!! HE doesn’t even give a shit about your answer. You know why? Because it’s up to HIM to give you the answers or not because the answers are HIS, and from HIM. Not from you.. The important thing is our efforts towards HIM and how willing are we to bow down and be so humble to gain the answers from him and humiliate ourself by only presenting blank answer sheets over and over again..

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“So, what the fuck is the relationship between baca Quran and smayang with all this..??”

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The answer is simple.. The concept of SURRENDER. The main reason of all those “kepiluan” is because we don’t have the answers. We are stucked in an unsolved question. We feel stressed because we have tried many solutions, but still don’t work. And in the end, we feel like trying to give up, to surrender. But the question is, to whom we should give up to? Are we just gonna give up just like that, or give it all up to the one who knows all the answer for it, so that it can be solved?

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That is why those two things can help to reduce the ‘kepiluan’, or maybe, terminate it permanently. But please understand, the term used is BACA Quran. Not SEBUT ayat-ayat Quran. That means, we must UNDERSTAND (either mastering the Arabic Language, or just READ the tafsir to understand the meaning of it). That also applied in “innaa lillah”. BACA and UNDERSTAND the concept of the phrase, not just SEBUT it.

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That is why most people don’t feel the effectiveness of this solution. Because most of us when proposed to BACA Quran as a solution, we just do like our traditions in mengaji Quran when we were kids – just SEBUT the ayat without even gives a fuck about understanding it. Only if we have the effort to READ and UNDERSTAND it, then maybe He will give some hints in that “words of His”. When we get the answer, doesn’t that mean that our burden is now reduced?

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So what about the smayang thing? Smayang contains ALL that was mentioned. In smayang, we also must READ something, right? But the most important thing is the concept of BERSERAH. Even when we start it with takbiratul ihram it already shows that we are “surrendering” already – the action of putting our hands in the air as if we are surrendering ourselves when we are surrounded by the police. Apatah lagi the act of the ‘ultimate surrender’ – sujud. Added with our own confession of needing help (in fatihah). That’s the beauty of it – satu perbuatan, tetapi melambangkan kesemuanya.

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Only after we understand this, then we are convinced that is why those things are the most suitable solutions for Muslims (especially to those typical Malays who only just know to SAY this solutions without trying to understand it) and we cannot even deny it in facing ‘kepiluan’. Not drugs.

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When we combine the two movies, one of the challenges to settle that ‘kepiluan’ is to find someone who could listens and understands it. But to listen, one must first shut the fuck up be silent. Listening and talking cannot go together. Maybe that is why:

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“Satu amalan yang sangat mudah nak dibuat, tetapi manusia susah sangat nak buat ialah DIAM”

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Only HE, the MAHA MENDENGAR one will always listens to us anytime, anywhere, any situations.

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So, the conclusion is, if you have any problems in you fuckin’ life, find HIM, not ME!! Bohahahahaaha!! I won’t give a shit about it!! Nyiahahahahahah!! If you really really really want my opinions, then shut the fuck up and do not argue. Ngahahahahahah!! You want to listen or not, you want to understand it or not, you want to do it or not, it’s up to you. I don’t give a shit.. Just like the part in the movie Protege (tak ingat plak apa nama hero tuh):

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Fann : Why are you not helping me? Why won’t you give me a chance? Why you rather help that dog instead of me?

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Hero : Because you have choices..!!

 

AMARAN!!

Entry kali ini dipenuhi dengan bahan-bahan yang.. Errr.. Menimbulkan syahwat.. Jadi, kepada mereka yang jenis rajin join geng-geng agama, sila keluar dari sini kerana entry ini tidak sesuai untuk anda.. Syuh!! Syuh!! Jika ada komen daripada puak ini di sini yang KONONnya nak menegakkan kebenaran dan mencantas kejahatan (contoh boleh di lihat pada komen Entry 59), ia akan dipadamkan terus. But if we think it logically, for sure orang-orang yang nak komen tu kena BACA dan TENGOK dulu, ye tak? Horny jugak kome ni ye? Hahahahahah!!

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At last.. After years of searching, I have found one of my biggest pieces of puzzle..!! Ngahahahahahahah!!

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Oh ya, sebelum itu, ingin dimaklumkan bahawa further elaboration and explanation mengenai Entry 67 akan disambung pada lain kali. Ini kerana aku lebih berminat untuk post entry ni dulu. At least one thing is for sure – I learnt something in posting that Entry 67. Pada mulanya, ingatkan nak letak video cukup sekadar suka-suka. But when I think of it, using videos surely have advantages.

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Menggunakan blog Friendster, setiap bulan ada limit berapa bijik gambar boleh diupload (the main fuckin’ weakness of this blog provider). Kalau tak silap aku, sebulan boleh upload 60 bijik gambar je kot (either upload kat blog atau Friendster’s photo album / profile photos). Since using videos (I use You Tube) is just typing the computer language instead of uploading, maka ia lebih jimat, malah cara penyampaian juga lebih menarik (kepada yang ada plugin player kat internet la).

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Kelemahan penggunaan video plak ialah video adalah terhad. Tak boleh nak edit sesuka hati sebagaimana edit gambar seperti yang diingini oleh penulis. Dan kadangkala, sukar untuk memperoleh video yang berkaitan dengan isi yang nak dibicarakan. Yes, videos are very limited. Unless, kalau ada videocam sendiri, dan terus buat video blog (sebagaimana yang Odan ada kasi link dia kat entry yang lepas – entahlah entry mana, aku pun tak ingat).

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Maybe now is the time for this blog to evolve in a new way of approach: the combination of writings and enhance visual aids (photos + videos). Itupun kalau rajin la. Kalau kena time malas, takde la nak letak gambar-gambar atau video. Yes, we have many people sharing many videos (in websites like You Tube and such). Why not we use it instead of just going to that websites and just wasting time only watching it right? At least that is the best advantage ever for blogs rather than a normal diary. We are in the technology age right now, so why not we use the technologies we had to our own advantage, right?

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Browsing through the video sites, searching for any visual aids that can help my presentation in this blog, at last, I have found something that I have been searching for years (selain Legacy of Kain tu la). For me, this is one of the most important pieces of puzzle of my life. The one that I have been longing for, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you.. My beloved Queen of Cute: JORDAN CAPRI..!!!!

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Oooppss..!! Cukup sampai situ je. Kang sini jadi porn blog plak instead of normal blog. Ah~!! Geramnye aku tengok dia~ Rasa nak bogelkan dia, keypak dan kongkek mintak autograf je dari Jordan Capri nih. Haaa, tu laa.. Dulu time ada awek, sanggup clash semata-mata sebab minat kat Jordan Capri. Kan sekarang dah horny sangap. Ah, comelnya dia~!! Hey, come on laaa.. What do you expect from a person whose job is a pornstar? Baju kurung tudung labuh? You are so naive la if you think like that. At least Jordan Capri in that video takde la bukak semua. Apa ingat senang ke nak cari pornstar yang masih pakai baju kat alam cyber ni?

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“Conscience..?? You dare to speak to me of conscience..?? Only when you have felt the full gravity of choice should you dare question my judgment..!! Your life span is a flick compared to the mass of doubt and regret that I have worn..!! To know the fate of the world, hangs dependant on the advisedness of my every deed..? Can you even begin to conceive what action you would take in my position..??”

(Kain from The Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver – Video 2 Entry 67)

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Yeah, one of my goals in life (if I have the chance) is to meet Jordan Capri in the flesh and take her autograph. Hahahahahah!! So, before opposing the enemy, I must first KNOW my enemy. As said by Kain in Video 3 Entry 67:

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“How could I not? One must keep his friends close.. And his enemies, even closer..!!”

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Only after knowing the enemy, then we can “keypak come, kongkek see and cum conquer”.

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Ok, let’s put that aside. Minggu lepas, aku ada terbaca paper, dan aku sangat tertarik dengan artikel ini (klik link di sini). Scientific thinking? Interesting. What intrigues me is the paragraph:

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Raja Nazrin bertitah, sikap menghargai perbezaan dan menerima idea baru perlu wujud berikutan globalisasi kerana sebagai anggota komuniti global, individu harus boleh bekerja dan hidup bersama serta saling bekerjasama. “Untuk boleh bekerjasama dengan mereka yang mempunyai perspektif yang berbeza dan daripada latar belakang yang berlainan, pelajar Pengajian Islam bukan sekadar harus memahami secara mendalam doktrin dan asas Islam, tetapi juga budaya dan tamadun lain serta nilai mereka,” titah baginda.

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What intrigues me is that Raja Nazrin said that we must look into many perspectives in analyzing something. Not just the old theories or doctrins, but must also combined and take consideration of other issues (such as tamadun dan nilai budaya). Looks like when it involves ’science’, the term ’experiment’, ’calibrate’, ‘trial and error’ will be the normal vocabulary and normal procedures. If life itself is also a category of science, those terms also must be ‘absorbed’ into our daily activities. Thank you Raja nazrin, I support your ideas more than 100%. I’ve already using my “scientific thinking” in the experiment of my resume issue.

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Walaupun apa yang Raja Nazrin katakan itu menarik, one thing still cannot stay out of my mind. Serius la, comel sial Jordan Capri tuh. Cantik bagaikan BIDADARI (kalau ikut kepala otak pervert taste aku la). Kalaulah aku ada gambar dia yang pakai decent clothes, dah lama aku jadikan wallpaper kat PC ni atau print buat poster, tampal kat dinding bilik air bilik tidur. And when I think about this, terlintas dalam kepala otak aku mengenai suatu perkara yang ada juga berkaitan dengan bab seks dan jantina ni. Satu soalan yang pada orang lain mungkin remeh (atau sebab malas nak ambik tau), but very interesting if we think about it and try to find the truth (scientific thinking). The question is:

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“Kita selalu didedahkan dengan bab bidadari di syurga. Jika bidadari itu untuk lelaki, bagaimana pula dengan wanita yang masuk syurga? Adakah mereka juga akan dihidangkan dengan jejaka-jejaka tampan?”

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Ada yang kata kat aku bahawa orang yang masuk syurga nanti diberikan sebuah mahligai, yg di dalamnya ada 70 buah bilik. Di setiap bilik ada 70 buah katil. Di setiap katil pula ada 70 bidadari. Demn, maunya patah pinggang dok mengongkek setiap hari kalau keadaannya adalah diri kita yang sekarang ni. But one mystery remains, kenapa ia hanya seolah-olah ditujukan kepada golongan lelaki sahaja? Why only stated ’bidadari’? How about for women? What would they have?

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Kalau tau dek Ameena Wadud, sure dia akan kata benda ni tak fair, tak adil dan tak bertepatan dengan hak asasi wanita dalam bab kepuasan seks. But that is not important. What bothers me is if each every good human being deserves to go to heaven, all of them deserves to have what they want in heaven, still why istilah yang digunakan ialah ’bidadari’ yang mana lebih kepada keutamaan untuk lelaki berbanding wanita?

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Jika di syurga, lelaki diberikan nikmat untuk mengongkek sepuas-puasnya dengan bidadari (sorry, must be PLURAL: "bidadari-bidadari"), bagaimana pula dengan wanita? Adakah terdapat ayat atau hadis yang menceritakan dan menghuraikan mengenainya? Setakat ni, aku belum pernah dengar / terbaca lagi. Please inform me if there is any so I can refer to it and ask opinion about it to some references.

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Apabila dilihat pada satu sudut, seolah-olah golongan wanita seakan-akan di’anak tiri’kan. But that is not the real situation. Ini kerana golongan-golongan jenis warak selalu mengatakan bahawa apa yang penting pada pandangan Tuhan ialah amal ibadah seseorang, bukan keupayaan fizikalnya (atau apa-apa la yang bersangkutan dengan duniawi). If that thing is the one yang diambil kira, tak kiralah jantina mana sekalipun, siapa yang layak, dialah yang berjaya. Gender doesn’t counts.

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Sesetengah pula bila diajukan soalan-soalan sebegitu, lebih kepada jawapan seperti ini:

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”Alaaaa.. Buat apa nak susah-susah fikirkannya? Percaya je cukuplah.. Tak payah banyak soal..”

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Yeah right.. Rasanya jenis ni lah yang time kecik-kecik dulu kena marah dek mak bapak sebab tanya soalan “where do babies come from?”. Sebab tu sampai dah besar, bila ada orang tanya soalan-soalan yang agak daring atau pelik (walhal logik), akan digunakan jawapan tu jugak. Dengan kata lain, mentaliti yang tak berevolusi. Hey come on man, technology evolves, why human’s mentality still cannot evolve?? Haiyaaa.. Lei gong mei aaahhh..

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So, maknanya, sudut ‘anak tiri’ itu tak boleh dipakai kerana it is proven that God is fair. So, kita cuba melihat pada sudut lain pula. Pada sudut bahasa, bidadari bermakna:

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1. Dewi di syurga atau kayangan.

2. (Kiasan) Perempuan yang cantik rupawan.

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Istilah tersebut masih ditujukan khas kepada sifat female. Maybe some of you want to find the words in Arabic? Then carilah sendiri. Suruh aku buat apa? I’m not really interested in Arabic (excluding the Arabian chicks.. Nyum~ Nyum~). Apa salahnya kalau memahami istilah itu pada Bahasa Melayu? Yang menterjemahkan ayat Quran dan hadis-hadis ke dalam Bahasa Melayu ialah ulamak-ulamak Melayu jugak. Pastinya ulamak sedemikian, selain berpengetahuan agama, juga mempunyai pengetahuan yang mendalam mengenai penggunaan bahasa. Ye tak?

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Salah satu masalah mentaliti masyarakat Melayu sekarang ialah pada pandangan mereka, hanya ulamak Arab je yang power. Mentaliti Melayu telah disetkan supaya menganggap ulamak Arab lebih hebat daripada ulamak Melayu. Ya, memang la kalau ikut zaman dulu-dulu, banyak nama ulamak yang top ada kat Tanah Arab sana tu. But now, the world has changed. Dunia Islam semakin luas – globalisasi. Bukan hanya tertakluk pada tanah jajahan Arab sahaja.

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Walhal kalau diikutkan, dan difikirkan logiknya, ulamak Melayu lah yang sepatutnya kita sanjung dan hormati sekarang ni atas titik peluh mereka untuk menterjemah dan mentafsir semua bab-bab agama yang diorang dah belajar (yang kebanyakannya dalam Bahasa Arab) untuk disesuaikan dalam masyarakat Melayu supaya corak penyampaian dan ilmunya dapat difahami dengan mudah oleh orang Melayu dengan penggunaan-penggunaan istilah yang tepat dan sesuai.

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Thus, this will make us think another question if we relate it to the bidadari issue:

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“Kenapa ulamak Melayu memilih istilah BIDADARI..? Kenapa ulamak menggunakan istilah yang menggambarkan kewanitaan, bukan satu istilah yang umum (yang tak melambangkan apa-apa jantina seperti ’pelayan’)?”

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There must be a reason behind it. Sama sebagaimana penggunaan istilah SAHAJA dalam niat apa-apa ibadah, pastinya penggunaan istilah BIDADARI ini mempunyai sebab yang tersembunyi yang hingga kini kita tidak pernah ingin cuba untuk mengetahuinya. Or is it because the true meaning of it is so discreet just like the understanding of some words in Entry 21, Entry 22 and Entry 24? If so, then that means the words SYURGA and NERAKA also have a very discreet true meaning instead of what we understand right now.

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Memikirkan isu double or triple meaning mengenai istilah bidadari pada sudut bahasa, ia menjadi berkait pula dengan sudut ”muslihat penggunaannya”. If the word BIDADARI actually has a hidden meaning behind the common usage, then what is the true purpose of using it? Why the true meaning must be hidden? Why it must be made to be in such an artistic way and very halus to be understood? Then why this word is used?

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If we think back to the root of it, if the BIDADARI is meant just like what it is translated in Malay by the Malay scholars, of course the meaning in Arabic takkan lari jauh. Thus, the question is:

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“Why the prophet use that specific word instead of a general one?”

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Thus, from the “muslihat penggunaan” point of view, we are altered to another point of view – “the history point of view”. Bilakah Nabi menceritakan mengenai perkara tersebut? Apakah yang menyebabkan terjadinya peristiwa itu hingga baginda menceritakannya? Dengan siapakah baginda berkata sedemikian? Kepada siapakah baginda tujukannya? Apakah pula characteristic orang yang sememangnya ditujukan ayat-ayat mengenai bidadari tersebut?

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Mungkinkah baginda menceritakannya sebelum semua turun ke medan perang sebagai satu motivational factor? Mungkin pula pada ketika hari biasa supaya orang yang mendengarnya dapat meningkatkan amalannya daripada status yang biasa supaya ada peningkatan? Mungkinkah sebagai satu ’comparison’ supaya mencegah daripada melakukan sesuatu kerana memperoleh bidadari itu jauh lebih baik daripada melakukan perkara tersebut? Demn.. All that is just probabilities, theories and hypothesis. If only I had those information and knowledge, I would surely write it and share it here. The thing is, I don’t have it.. Sheeesshh..

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Jika diperdalami pada sudut sejarah pula, ia pasti tidak akan lari daripada sudut nilai kebudayaan dan cara hidup masyarakat. Thus, what is the culture of those people? What do they eat? What do they drink? How did they live their life? What makes them to have certain traits, abilities and characteristics?

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Sebagaimana yang kita tahu, orang Arab tak makan nasi macam kita. Deme banyak makan daging, sebab tu badan besar-besar. Deme matang (akil baligh) pun cepat. Dah la duduk kat tempat panas, makan benda yang kasi lagi panas, pastinya ada kesan kepada tubuh (mahupun sifat dalaman). Adakah kerana perkara tersebut ie memberi kesan kepada sifat baran dan syahwat mereka?

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Mungkinkah kerana orang Arab lebih hebat syahwatnya maka ia dimanipulasi sebagai satu motivation factor? Mungkinkah kerana mereka jenis kasar dan panas baran, maka perkara yang boleh menyejukkannya ialah dengan bayangan makhluk yang bersifat yang berlawanan dengan mereka – bidadari yang lemah lembut, comel dan rasa bersalah plak untuk dihentak oleh mereka dalam melepakan baran mereka?

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Atau mungkinkah itulah sebenar-benarnya cara terbaik Nabi yang berkesan dalam menangani dan berhadapan dengan orang-orang jenis pervert yang wujud pada ketika itu? If we think this way, maka kita telahpun menjangkau ke sudut management dan human behavior. Daripada kasi seorang pervert menjadi stalker, flasher atau perogol kerana tak dapat nak mengongkek, baik bagi motivational action (amalan-amalan ibadah) untuk mereka supaya dapat hanyut dalam imaginasi mereka mengenai gadis yang menepati segala kehendak seksual mereka – bidadari. At least kasi turun crime rate yang melibatkan hal-hal seksual. Dan tiadalah wanita yang akan ‘teraniaya’ oleh ‘kekuatan’ kaum lelaki.

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Hmmm.. Atau mungkinkah itu adalah antara penyejuk hati kepada mereka yang tidak mampu untuk memperoleh jodoh? Mungkinkah itulah yang sepatutnya menaikkan semangat untuk mereka yang masih bujang supaya meneruskan hidup daripada kecewa sebab clash, malah mempergunakan each every bit of their life to do something useful? Mungkin juga.

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Jika diteliti semua probabilities tadi, mungkinkah itu sebabnya istilah ‘bidadari’ itu lebih ditujukan kepada kaum lelaki instead of kaum wanita? Kemungkinan sahaja.. Belum tentu betul, belum tentu salah.. The rest, we must do our own investigation - with that "scientific thinking" la. Even if those probabilities may be true (or not), the problem is to find the missing piece of puzzle that connects them all (as some people may call it "the missing link")…

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There are lots of probabilities with just that one word – BIDADARI. The thing is, we still don’t know the actual truth about it. And that is why me must always seek for it and never quit. Thus our whole life is filled with just learning. Maybe that is meant by Ibnu Haitam in his quote (gained from a friend who went to the Pameran Barangan Tamadun Islam):

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The conclusion is, if you think you gain something useful in this entry, you should thank The Queen of Cute, my beloved Jordan Capri. It is because of her, these questions in this entry have arisen. That’s why I love her.. Nyiaa~!! Yeah, I know.. Even so she is a porn star, she teaches me more about the procedures of creating a life and some knowledge (or “knowledge” – with apostrofi).

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Heh..

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:p

Haih.. Banyak betul benda yg berlaku baru-baru ni. Dengan perhimpunan orang yang bangkang kenaikan harga tol la (Tamau bayar tol, naik la moto.. Apa susah? Aku naik moto, takde banyak songeh pun..) dengan ”RM 5 untuk kuil, RM 5 lagi untuk Tuhan” la. Sheesshh.. If I were in that situation, kalau ada orang ugut suruh bayar parking (yg mana kalau tak bayar, akan dicalarkan kenderaan tersebut), aku hentak orang tu kaw-kaw kasi patah riuk separuh mampus, pastu balik terus. Hahahahah!! Well, maybe that is why I never had been in that position.. Hmmm.. Intriguing..

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Enough of local or world issue. I’m sick of it anyway. At last, setelah tiada lagi “halangan” atau aral yang melintang, aku telah kembali ke asal. Pulang pulih sediakala – melibatkan diri semula dalam arena Ragnarok Online. Buahahahahahahah!! (Gua main Malay server – Balder). Setiap bulan, certain amount of money akan habis kat topup semata-mata. Satu topup untuk akaun sendiri, satu lagi untuk ”pasaran gelap” (dijual kepada player lain, yang akan membayarnya dalam bentuk matawang Zeny). Yeah, I am one of the MC Dealers in RO – the trustworthy one (MC = monthly card). Siap dah ada pelanggan tetap lagi. Mungkin ini antara salah satu cara untuk belajar business and trading. Wahahahahahah!!

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Who said that computer games are just wasting time? We can learn a lot from games – if we know where to look at. And to tell you the truth, benda-benda yang paling banyak mengajar aku (untuk perkara-perkara tertentu) ialah movies, games dan comics. Movie banyak mempunyai falsafah-falsafah yang menjadi satu cebisan jawapan kepada jigsaw puzzle kepada persoalan-persoalan yang dibincangkan dengan mereka yang ‘sa-udara’. Malah dapat menjadi analogi yang mudah difahami untuk dikaitkan dengan perkara tersebut.

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Aku banyak belajar bab bahasa Melayu pula melalui komik-komik Cina. Seriously. Bukan tipu. Dulu mak aku punya nak jaga bahasa aku dan adik-adik aku (supaya dapat skor Bahasa Melayu time UPSR), dia tak kasi baca majalah-majalah dan komik-komik. Maklumlah, pada masa tu yang menjadi benchmark komik-komik ialah majalah yang gunakan bahasa pasar seperti Gila-Gila, Ujang, Gelagat, dsb.

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Aku ada jugak beli komik Pedang Setiawan. Pada aku, bahasa dia ok, so aku simpan je la. Bila aku masuk sekolah menengah, balik cuti je, tengok-tengok komik dah hilang. Rupanya mak aku dah buang! Oh my goat!! My precious~!! My collection~!! Maka aku pun perjelaskan pada mak aku, siap kasi dia tengok lagi komik tu. Disebabkan bahasanya nampak ok (siap ada peribahasa seperti “kalau kail panjang sejengkal, lautan dalam usah diduga”, “seperti telur di hujung tanduk”, “berpantang maut sebelum ajal”, dan “berani mati, tak mati”), siap dengan bahasa yang formal lagi, barulah dapat lampu hijau.

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Walau bagaimana pun, one of the biggest thing yang memberikan aku pengaruh yang paling banyak, tidak lain dan tidak bukan, pastinya computer games. I learn a lot in games – especially philosophy and English. For me, game yang paling cool, sah-sah la Hitman. Game yang paling macho ayat-ayatnya, WarCraft (including DotA). But there is one game, that for me, it is the legendary game that I could never forget, the one that has given me a lot of things to learn, the one that improves me a lot by its classy philosophy, classic language, and cool actions – THE LEGACY OF KAIN series.

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Semua elemen yang memenuhi citarasa aku ada di dalamnya (excluding the element of love because you won’t find any in it). Semua perkara di dalamnya pada aku cukup hebat. Sound efek yang menarik, background music yang menjiwai permainan, gameplay yang ok, bahasa yang klasik dengan intonasi yang sangat sesuai, dan falsafah yang logik lagi hebat. Semuanya pada aku sangat memberi kesan dan pengaruh yang mendalam. And that is why I choose my blog name ”The Legacy of Adi Ramli” (sempena Legacy of Kain).

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Kalau diikutkan, jalan ceritanya dan flow of time mengikut sirinya adalah seperti berikut:

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Berbeza dengan flow jalan ceritanya, the production flow plak mcm ni:

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Kira macam StarWars la start dengan Episod 4 dulu, Pastu ending dengan Episod 3. Tapi Legacy of Kain punya approach lebih kepada cara movie The Infernal Affairs.

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Diringkaskan huraian siri-sirinya:

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LOK: Blood Omen – Asal-usul bagaimana character bernama Kain boleh wujud.

LOK: Blood Omen 2 – Kisah Kain dah dapat kuasa dan cuba meluaskan empire, tetapi terpaksa berhadapan dengan geng-geng Serafan.

LOK: Soul Reaver – Kisah asal-usul seorang pahlawan Kain bernama Raziel ketika Kain sudah merajai dunia.

LOK: Soul Reaver 2 – Kesinambungan yang tadi, dalam usaha Raziel mencari hakikat kebenaran.

LOK: Defiance – Kisah politik dan manipulasi oleh semua pihak, maka Kain dan Raziel bersatu untuk menghapuskan dalang yang lebih besar.

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Hmm.. kalau setakat tulis je pun tak guna. Korang bukannya boleh faham dan menjiwai siri-siri tu pun. So, di sini, sambil aku ceritakan dengan ringkas, aku sertakan sekali petikan-petikan dari game dia:

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Bermula dengan LOK: Blood Omen, Kain asalnya manusia, dilahirkan di Nosgoth, untuk menjadi salah seorang daripada sembilan penjaga Pillars of Nosgoth, menggantikan penjaga yang telah mati. Kemudian dia dibunuh, lalu dijadikan vampire. Maka dia pun diperalatkan oleh Mobeus (guardian of the pillar of time) menjadi pembunuh. Setelah membunuh semua penjaga Pillars of Nosgoth (kecuali Mobeus), Kain mesti membunuh dirinya sendiri supaya batch baru penjaga Pillars of Nosgoth akan dilahirkan, dan keep the world order to be in peace. Disebabkan Kain benci kepada sifat manusia (hasil daripada pengalamannya ketika dia masih manusia), Kain membuat keputusan untuk tidak mahu berkorban, and let the world and human to live in peril and chaos.

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Setelah mendapat kuasa dan merajai Nosgoth, Kain mula nak meluaskan empayarnya. Di sinilah bermulanya LOK: Blood Omen 2. Musuh ketatnya ialah puak Serafan. Di sini baru kita tahu bagaimana dikatakan sebagai puak-puak Serafan.

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Setelah Kain merajai dunia, bermulalah kisah baru LOK: Soul Reaver, mengenai konflik dalaman dan dendam kesumat antara orang kanan Kain bernama Raziel dengan Kain sendiri. Raziel (and his brethrens) is also a vampire – ressurected by Kain himself. Kenapa Raziel mula berdendam dengan Kain? Sebabnya adalah sebagaimana intronya berikut:

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Raziel telah dilahirkan semula oleh penjaga alam roh sebagai ”The Reaver of Soul” yang ditugaskan untuk menelan roh-roh orang yang telah mati supaya menjadi penjana kuasa untuk penjaga alam roh tersebut. Raziel bersetuju, tetapi dengan syarat dia mesti balas dendam pada Kain dulu. Penjaga alam roh juga bersetuju untuk menghapuskan Kain supaya alam boleh berada pada keadaan normal dan penjaga Pillars of Nosgoth yang baru dapat lahir.

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Ketika berhadapan dengan Kain (terserempak je pun), perkara yang tak disangka-sangka berlaku sebagaimana video tersebut:

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Di mana pedang Kain yang bernama ”Soul Reaver” (yang dipercayai menyedut roh-roh mangsa yang dibunuhnya) pecah jasadnya, tetapi meninggalkan pedang tersebut dalam bentuk roh semata-mata (tak nampak kat alam nyata, tapi Raziel boleh nampak pedang tu di alam roh). Maka, Soul Reaver pun menjadi senjata Raziel.

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Dalam usaha untuk bertarung dengan Kain, Raziel terpaksa berhadapan dengan ”abang-abang” vampirenya yang telah bermutasi terlebih dahulu. Kalau dulu, Raziel bermutasi dengan kelebihan mempunyai sayap, abang-abangnya yang lain pun ada kelebihan yang lain. Setelah membunuh mereka, Raziel dapat menelan roh diorang dan dapat kuasa baru – kuasa abang-abangnya.

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Dalam memburu Kain, Raziel ada lalu kawasan kubu Serafan. Maka dia nampaklah patung-patung dan monumen di situ. Paling mengejutkan, baru dia tahu bahawa dia dan abang-abangnya sebelum menjadi vampire adalah the noble warriors in the Serafan kingdom. Mereka semua tak tahu benda ni sebab semua ingatan mengenai kehidupan mereka sebelum menjadi vampire dah takde. Hinggalah bila Raziel telah jumpa Kain di satu ancient ruins that has the ability to manipulate time, dialog dan aksi sebagaimana video berikt berlaku:

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Raziel mengejar Kain melalui Time Portal tersebut dan disambut sendiri oleh Mobeus. Rupa-rupanya, Raziel dan Kain telah pergi ke zaman yang lepas. Maka bermulalah episod baru, LOK: Soul Reaver 2. Disebabkan Mobeus dan Raziel mempunyai musuh yang sama (Kain), maka mereka pun bersatu dalam usaha membanteras Kain. Dalam ketika Raziel terserempak dengan Kain di satu chamber, telah wujud dua pedang Soul Reaver – satu yang dibawa oleh Raziel dalam bentuk roh, manakala satu lagi yang masih mempunyai fizikal (pedang yang wjud pada ketika itu). Maka berlakulah perkara dan teori mengenai “free will”, “time flow”, “destiny” dan “history” sebagaimana berikut:

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Yes, Raziel refused to kill Kain kerana terasa seolah-olah diperalatkan oleh kedua-dua belah pihak. Disebabkan terjadinya perkara sedemikian, maka dia pun meneruskan perjalanannya untuk kembali ke zaman asalnya. Pun begitu, dendam kesumat terhadap Kain amsih belum habis. Cumanya dia akan bunuh Kain pada masa yang lain, bukan di bawah arahan Mobeus. (Demn, I like this kind of ego..!!). Dalam usaha mencari jalan pulang, tanpa disedari Raziel dan Kain telah altered history. So, ketika terserempak dengan Kain, dialog ini terjadi:

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Untuk kembali ke zaman asalnya, akhirnya Raziel terpaksa bejumpa dengan bapak kepada segala vampire yang pada ketika itu masih hidup. Namanya Janos Audron (sebutan Janos tu bukan huruf ”J”. Tetapi huruf ”Y”. Yanos). Maka the truth about Nosgoth dan asal-usul Pillars of Nosgoth pun dibicarakan:

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Perbualan mereka cukup setakat tu je. Tentera Serafan dah datang. Raziel telah ditipu untuk meninggalkan Janos Audron. Tetapi Raziel tidak akan meninggalkan Janos Audron kena belasah macam tu je. Maka Raziel pun bergegas untuk membantu Janos Audron:

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Usahanya terlambat. Tanggapannya bahawa dia adalah pahlawan agung ketika berkhidmat dengan Serafan dahulu punah. Rupanya dirinya pada ketika hidup dengan Serafan jauh lebih keji berbanding hidup dengan Kain sebagai vampire. Barulah dia sedar bahawa apa yang Kain cakap mengenai puak Serafan (sebelum jump in masuk time portal – sila rujuk video sebelumnya) adalah benar. Maka dendamnya terhadap Kain terus tak jadi kerana sasarannya yang sebenar ialah untuk membunuh dirinya yang masih human itu. (Dia dok ingat Kain yang bunuh dia, pastu Kain jadikan dia vampire. Rupa-rupanya dia yang bunuh diri dia sendiri, Kain Cuma convert dia jadi vampire je).

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Setelah selesai semuanya, Raziel kembali ke zamannya dan berkhidmat dengan penjaga alam roh sebagai tukang telan roh. Entah berapa ratus tahun dia berkhidmat, setiap kata-kata Kain mengenai “free will” terngiang-ngiang di kepalanya. Maka di sinilah bermulanya episod LOK: Defiance. Maka bermulalah babak Raziel menderhaka penjaga alam roh untuk lari daripada kontrak. Pada ketika ini, Raziel berada jauh di masa depan. Kain pula berada jauh di masa lampau. Maka Raziel pun ingkar pada penjaga alam roh tersebut dan mencari jalan untuk mencari Kain.

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Malangnya, Raziel tatau macam mana nak guna mesin time portal. Bila masuk time portal, Raziel tersasar jauh ke masa lampau pula sebagaimana gambar berikut:

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Nak tak nak, terpaksa dia gunakan Mobeus (atau cari Vorador, atau guna time portal lain) untuk ke zaman Kain. Untuk game yang ni, the best part is we can play both characters!! Both Kain and Raziel!! Dan yang paling best ialah, akan tiba satu part di mana kita sendri terpaksa berlawan dengan character yang kita dah develop tadi..!! Yes, there is a part where Raziel vs Kain, and vice versa!! Perrrhhh!! Masyuk gila wa cakap lu!!

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So endingnya macam mana? Siapa yang hidup dan siapa yang mati? Siapakah dalang sebenar dalam keseluruhan cerita tersebut? That one, you find it yourself la. Kalau tak silap aku, masih wujud lagi cd atau dvd LOK: Defiance kat kedai game tu. Rasanya cukup sekadar ni dulu. The message beneath this masterpiece, I will write it later..

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p/s: Perh.. Classic gila bahasa deme tu. Aku dok tengok beberapa kali dialog tu pun tak bosan..